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EASTER BUNNY
Synopsis: The Easter Bunny faces a crisis with a shipment of jelly beans. He goes to his therapist, Dr. Freudz in hopes of finding a way to save Easter!
CHARACTERS
CAST OF CHARACTERS EASTER BUNNY - WEARING A RABBIT COSTUME OR RABBIT EARS, BIG FEET AND WHISKERS...WHATEVER YOU CAN DO TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A RABBIT. HE IS CARRYING AN EASTER BASKET. DR. FREUDZ - WEARING A SUIT AND TIE, GLASSES, WRIST WATCH, AND IF POSSIBLE A BEARD. HE IS CARRYING A PAD OF PAPER AND A PEN.
PROPS: 2 CHAIRS PLACED CENTER STAGE AT AN ANGLE FACING EACH OTHER, RABBIT COSTUME, EYE GLASSES, WATCH, PAD OF PAPER, PEN, EASTER BASKET FILLED WITH COLORED HARD BOILED EGGS, A CHOCOLATE RABBIT, A LARGE CARROT AND A LARGE DOG BISCUIT.
SCRIPT The scene opens as Dr. Freudz walks on stage from stage left, sits down and writes something on the pad of paper. He looks at his watch, gets up, walks a few paces and throws up his arms. Dr. Freudz - (Speaks with a German accent if possible.) This just will not do! I do not tolerate tardiness. Where is my patient? (He sits back in his chair, crosses his legs and jiggles on leg nervously.) Easter Bunny - (Enters stage right. He has an Easter basket over his arm and hops across the stage and then sits down in his chair. He puts the Easter basket on the floor next to him.) Easter Bunny - I'm so sorry I'm late, Dr. Freudz. Traffic was awful! Then I got lost and ended up on a dead end road. Then I got a flat tire and look, I bent my whiskers. I'm a mess! Dr. Freudz - (Lowers his glasses slightly and peers at the Easter Bunny.) Is that the real reason you're late? Easter Bunny - Isn't that enough? Dr. Freudz - Yah, but could there be some deeper reason why you were not here at the appointed time? Easter Bunny - Like what? Dr. Freudz - (Pushes glasses back up on his nose and sits back.) Only you can answer that, Mr. Bunny. Easter Bunny - Well, I did stop at McDonald's for a big Mac. That slowed me down some too. Dr. Freudz - Excuses! Excuses! Easter Bunny - What do you mean, Dr. Freudz, about excuses. Honest...that's what happened! Dr. Freud - Yah, that's what happened, but I think there is a deeper reason for why you nearly missed this appointment. Easter Bunny - (Looks skeptical.) Ok, if you say so. Dr. Freudz - Tell me, Mr. Bunny, what was your father like? Easter Bunny - (Laughs out loud and slaps his knee.) That's a good one, Dr. Freudz. Dr. Freudz - (Frowns.) I see nothing to laugh about. I asked a serious question and I expect a serious answer. Easter Bunny - (Stops laughing and frowns at Dr. Freudz.) You were serious about that? Dr. Freudz - Mr. Bunny, sometimes the reason we do things is rooted in our childhood. I would very much like it if you told me about your father. Easter Bunny - (Smiles.) There isn't much to tell, Dr. Freudz...he was the Easter Bunny before I took over. You know...happy, hoppy, filled with joy...bringing goodies to girls and boys! Dr. Freudz - (Looks embarrassed.) Well, I guess your father is not the problem then. Easter Bunny - No, I told you...the problem is I got lost, had a flat tire and went to McDonald's. It's as simple as that. Dr. Freudz - Well, then we should move on to other things. (Pauses and writes on the pad of paper and looks up.) Tell me, how was your week? Easter Bunny - (Shakes his head sadly.) I don't want to talk about it. Dr. Freudz - But my dear Mr. Bunny..that's why you are here...to talk about what's bothering you. Is something bothering you? Easter Bunny - Well, yes. Now that you mention it I have a small problem. Well not exactly a small problem. It's more of a big problem. Actually it's a huge problem. Dr. Freudz - (Rubs his hands together gleefully.) Yah, now we are getting somewhere! Tell me all about it, Mr. Bunny. Easter Bunny - I don't know where to start. Dr. Freudz - You start at the beginning of course. Easter Bunny - (Sits back in his chair and thinks for a moment.) Welllllll, it all started on Tuesday. Dr. Freudz - Yah, Yah, go on. Easter Bunny - You know this is my busiest time of the year. Easter will be here soon and I am working around the clock to fill all those Easter baskets. Dr. Freudz - (Takes notes as the Easter bunny is speaking.) Yah, Yah, please go on. Easter Bunny - On Monday, I lined up all the Easter baskets and stuffed them with colored straw...you know the kind I mean. Dr. Freudz - Yah, I like blue the best. Easter Bunny - That's good to know. I will make a note of that and make sure your Easter basket has blue straw in it. Dr. Freudz - Thank you, Mr. Bunny. That's very kind of you. (Pauses.) Now where were we. Ah, yes. You were telling me about your problem. Please continue. Easter Bunny - (Scratches his head and thinks.) Oh yeah, on Tuesday, I dyed three thousand eggs. (Reaches into the Easter basket and pulls out a colored egg and holds it up.) Count 'em....3,000! Do you know how long that takes...and that was just the first batch. (Tosses the egg back in the basket.) Then I had to put all the eggs into Easter baskets. Dr. Freudz - (Keeps writing.) Yah, Yah, then what happened? Easter Bunny - On Wednesday I put all the chocolate rabbits into the baskets. That took hours and hours and hours! (Reaches into the Easter basket and pulls out a chocolate rabbit and holds it out to Dr. Freudz.) Want one? Dr. Freudz - Thank you, I believe I will. (Dr. Freudz munches the chocolate during the rest of the skit.) Easter Bunny - Then, on Thursday I broke out the marshmallow chickens and stuffed those in all the Easter baskets. Dr. Freudz - I don't see what's so terrible about all of this. It sounds like you are on schedule to be ready for Easter. Easter Bunny - You think so, huh? Well, Dr. Freudz....let me tell you I thought so too until I went to my warehouse on Friday. Dr. Freudz - (Talks with his mouth full.) What happened at the warehouse, Mr. Bunny? Easter Bunny -(Stands up and throws up his arms dramatically.) Disaster! Catastrophe! Calamity! Dr. Freudz - (Stops writing and looks up.) What could be so awful, Mr. Bunny? Easter Bunny - (Sits back down.) I don't know how to tell you this. Dr. Freudz - Take a deep breath, Mr. Bunny and tell me all about it. (Takes a big bite of chocolate.) Easter Bunny - (Does a few deep breathing exercises.) It was like this. (Sighs.) I went into the warehouse, I walked over to the cartons marked 'jelly beans', opened one of the boxes and what do you think I found, Dr. Freudz? Dr. Freudz - Jelly Beans? Easter Bunny - No! No jelly beans. Zilch. Nada. None. No! Dr. Freudz - More chocolate rabbits? (Takes another bite of chocolate.) Easter Bunny - Wrong! Dr. Freudz - I hope it wasn't more marshmallow chickens. I don't like those very much. Easter Bunny - Nope. Wrong again. Dr. Freudz - (Leans forward and looks interested.) I give up! If you did not find jelly beans, what did you find? Easter Bunny - DOG BISCUITS!!! Dr. Freudz - Excuse me, did you say dog biscuits? Easter Bunny - Yes, Dr. Freudz. Dog biscuits! (Reaches into the Easter basket and pulls out a large dog biscuit, shows it to Dr. Freudz. He starts to take a bite of the dog biscuit, stops, shakes his head and throws it in the basket.) Big ones, small ones, green ones. I even had a case of dog biscuits that smelled like bacon! Dr. Freudz - (Makes a face.) Ahhhhh, this will not do. Easter Bunny - (Puts his head in his hands and then looks up.) Jelly beans are my trademark, Dr. Freudz. Every child looks forward to Easter because of jelly beans. They are the last little treat they find in their Easter baskets. Jelly Beans are the most important part of Easter. Without them, Easter won't be the same. Dr. Freudz - (Reaches over and pats the Easter Bunny on the arm.) Calm yourself, Mr. Bunny. (Takes a bite of chocolate.) I realize how serious this is, but maybe we can find a solution. Perhaps the children have dogs who would like to have these dog biscuits on Easter morning. Easter Bunny - Are you nuts? Are you sure you're a shrink? That has to be the dumbest thing I ever heard. Dr. Freudz - Please forgive me, Mr. Bunny. I was so caught up in the problem I lost my head. It won't happen again. Easter Bunny - I should hope not! Easter is ruined and all you can come up with are silly ideas. Dr. Freudz - Please calm down, Mr. Bunny. We will think of a way to save Easter. There has to be a way. (Takes another bite of chocolate and thinks.) Easter Bunny - Maybe there is a way out. Maybe there is a way to save Easter after all. I just don't know what it is. (Gets up and hops a few times. He stops and thinks and then sits back down.) Easter Bunny - It's no use. Without jelly beans I just couldn't show my face this year. And without me there is no Easter. Without Jelly Beans it will be just another day. It's hopeless. Dr. Freudz - (Claps his hands.) I've got it! Easter Bunny - (Jumps in his chair as Dr. Freudz startles him. The Easter Bunny reaches into the basket and pulls out a carrot and starts munching.) Hey, what's up Doc? You have an idea? Dr. Freudz - Why didn't I think of this sooner? It's so simple. Easter Bunny - (Takes another bite of carrot.) Ok...what's the answer? Dr. Freudz - (Takes a bite of chocolate.) Any moron could have come up with this idea. Ha! Easter Bunny - (Munching furiously on the carrot.) Are you going to tell me how to save Easter or NOT?!!!! Dr. Freudz - (Sits back in his chair, calmly takes a bite of chocolate.) It's very simple, Mr. Bunny. Without you, there will be no Easter, am I correct? Easter Bunny - Yessssss, you know we can't have Easter without the Easter Bunny! Dr. Freudz - And the problem is that you have no jelly beans to make Easter complete...is that correct? Easter Bunny - You got it! Dr. Freudz - Then all you have to do is get more jelly beans! Easter Bunny - (Looks disgusted.) And just how do you suggest I do that, Dr. Freudz? I don't know why I bother to come here. Have you considered seeing a shrink because I think you're nuts! Dr. Freudz - No, no...just listen to my plan. Easter Bunny - Okay, (Sighs.) I'm listening. Dr. Freudz - (Stuffs the
chocolate in his suit pocket, folds his arms over his chest.) It's very simple, Mr.
Bunny...just go to Wal-Mart and buy them. Easter Bunny - (Picks up Easter basket and starts to hop off stage singing here comes Peter Cotton Tail.) (He calls back over his shoulder.) You're a genius! Dr. Freudz - (Waves and calls back.) Yah, I know! ( He smiles, pulls out the chocolate rabbit and takes a bite.) (fade to black.)
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